How Do Humans Become Adult Humans

In a life spent as a "teacher" and "mentor" I have tried always to be honest with myself, up-front with others, centered on the growth of my students, and mindful of the fragility of personality as children grow up. I have seen "humans" who are apparently "grown up" and centered at age 12, and adults as old as 30 who in every moral and psychological aspect -- are still children.

One example in particular stands out in my memory. This was a young person in a community theatre production of "The Runner Stumbles" up in Michigan, very near the location/setting for the play. The production was important because of the controversy over authorship of the play -- the wife of the supposed author lived in the area where the play was being produced. Because the play was being produced so close to where the play was set (though a hundred years later) the supposed author was invited to the premiere. And then the truth of authorship controversy surfaced -- and all hell broke loose in the community, the press, and the rumor chain.

My example however was a young woman in the 20's who was in the cast. I happened to be cast as the clerical lead -- the priest who sinned. This young woman did everything possible to get close to me: in the dressing room, in the common bathroom was all had to use backstage, and at gatherings the cast had after rehearsals and performances at the local watering hole. I finally foolishly gave in to the seduction and it really was a seduction-- but not feeling quite right about the whole situation. Finally it dawned on me -- that this young woman was still reliving early high school years and her "expressed desire" for me was a transference from a former  "drama teacher" in her rural high school.

During a snowstorm/water hole gathering Kim (let's call her Kim) wanted to "stay over"in Traverse City.  She then pitched an improbable set of lies, betraying why she needed to set up a "phone chain" of lies about her whereabouts to "fool her parents into thinking she was staying with a girlfriend" overnight because of the danger in driving in snowy/slick weather. She believed they believed that she was not having sex or doing anything else "wrong." I sent her home in that snowstorm understanding that she really could stay with her girlfriend from high school who lived several blocks from me in Traverse City. And I learned from this experience -- even though she thought I was a "creepy dope" for not "screwing her" that night -- that women who are not mature enough to handle their own sexuality are not mature enough to use it.