Recently I watched a colleague "work the system" so that she could appear to get sympathy, while she secretly finally got her work done. I bear no animosity for such behavior -- I just shudder to think about it. Why? Because even though it solves several problems at once, and seems justified give our over-scheduled and over-demanding jobs -- it is at once both inauthentic and an outright lie.
In personal relationships as well women can sometimes "play the expectations game" and withhold friendship, love, or even simple communication while they "work the system" with someone else first. I have had that happen to me too many times. Now, as a man, have I also "worked the system" in the love/friendship world. I don't think I ever have. Why? Authenticity is important to me -- not for purposes of "self-aggrandizement" or arrogant sophistry, but for real reasons like "being true to one's own nature."
Is it in the nature of women to manipulate? As long as I have studied women (my entire life) I think I can now come to the conclusion, albeit reluctantly, that women do manipulate, and they appear to love doing it. It is their way perhaps to beat the male-dominated and controlled "system."
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