There are many more stories to tell about Bertina -- little stories, happy stories, romantic stories, and sad stories too. We lived a history together, even for such a short time -- both now and in the past. Her experiences made her the woman she had become -- as my experiences had shaped me.
No one's part was particularly better -- or healthier -- or more successful. No comparison needs to be made. We are what we are. And we cannot change easily -- that is true of either one of us.
I feel a failure in this relationship -- but most of that failure is not deliberate, active, or even conscious. I just know it is a failure.
When in the future I write about Bertina -- it will be the same. The moments of beauty or joy that are etched will be there forever. The moments of pain and embarrassment will be there as well.
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