For years I "didn't get it!" I never knew what the young (or older) woman was thinking as she looked into my eyes. I never presumed it meant what I wanted it to mean -- and so, time after time, I let the moment (and the woman) pass out of my life.
There are at least several hundred such moments in my existence -- when I was faced with a choice: to pursue or not to pursue; when I just didn't play the game. I was too inexperienced (even when I got older, but no wiser) to just get it there and make the connection. Why? Too much respect perhaps; or even astonishment that I would be one half of a sexual choice; or disbelief in the accuracy of my senses or my sensations.
I was a "dolt in love" -- I totally admit it. It's a wonder I ever had sex at all. It had to be a "Moses and the Burning Bush" kind of moment for me to get it -- and even then there was a strong chance I would just put out the fire. I am writing this down now -- not to make excuses or to make amends, just to state the truth.
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