I have made many decisions in my life: this most recent one has been the most complete and complex one to date. As life has gone along I have fallen into and out of love, into and out of relationships, even into and out of friendships. Deciding to be alone is independent of all of those. Being along is not solipsism so much as it is deciding not to burden others, or myself with others.
This is never an easy decision -- and it made more complicated by the fact that others are always present even after the decision is made. Then why make such a decision? You make this decision when you decide that you can make no other decision; that life has left you with no real tools to allow you to be a part of another's life, when age has promised you only a few simple pleasures -- and none of them needs to or can involve other people. You make the decision when it is the best decision available.
Does that mean that sexuality is finished for you? Or that life ceases to have any promise, any future, any fun? No to all of these. It just means that, on average, it is better for you to do all things that you might do, alone.
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