In reading blogs that take us back in time -- 20, 30 years or more -- I see the tendencies to hyperbolize, glorify, edit, change the tone, present the self as victim, present the self as hero, lie, move the pieces, rearrange the emotions, and in a thousand other ways -- rehabilitate one's own part in all that history. I am sure I would be guilty of the same inventions and sleight of hand, so..... I think it is important to establish limits on what I write, and who I might talk about, and what I might say.
I intend never to embarrass anyone I know, or have known. I intend to stay away from moments that were so sensitive at that time that all feelings were clouded by memory, all intentions were blocked by self justification. I will hope to avoid the "big lie" in the present by questioning the "reality" of the then.
This may make this blog unreadable by others; but the "karma" at least will remain pure. Holding back details I may remember only as a subsequent "invention" to make myself feel good then -- will only blind the eye to now. The smart thing to do is to avoid the "lie" -- to stick with what I know in the way that I know it; and not to hurt anyone else in the process. I need to understand that the purported "karma" that comes from reliving past fictions is not the way to live life now. The Jesuitical things to do is
to honor the past as its own truth -- and the present as a new and different truth.
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