The Beauty of Touch

I believe in "touch" as a loving link between people, and objects, and concepts, and all things.  My "ko shinto buddhism" establishes the "Shinto" belief that every object has an energy about it, a "ch'i," a feeling, a vibration --- call it what you will. And every one of us, if we are perceptive and open enough, can grasp and feel that "ch'i."

Life is both brutal and sweetly nuanced at the same time. Large energies engulf and consume us and small ones percolate and caress the corners of our vision. But always, always, if we aware and open to life -- we can experience and respond to it. 

I know the beauty of life's touch in many ways -- by knowing some extraordinary people; by tasting some extraordinary things; by experiencing some exquisite ideas; by understanding what is happening in, on, under, over, and around me.  I am not alone -- I am adrift in a see of "things" all touching me as I touch them. 

Quietude

Quietude is what happens when a Southern Technical College, in a state and region that never gets snow (or rarely), closes down for a day-and-a-half snow day. 

Thank the Gods. 

Quo Vadis?

The ancient question: "quo vadis?" seems an important enough place to begin. Where are we going? Do we really understand where we are going, and why? What is our purpose on this earth? Why are we alive? Why do we live; why do we question why or how we are to live? Why, why, why?

The elements that do happen: life, love, hate, death, reflection; all move us along a journey, which sometimes does not seem to have mile markers or end points or even spots to alter course or turn around.  We are free to go in whichever way we want, and to do whatever it is we want, without interference.  But then reality settles in and crushes everything:  plans, hopes, dreams, projections, and even failures!! All things are crushed and all changes are edited out.  We are out of control, or at least our control, for much of our own lives -- with no explanation given.  How can that be? How is it that we cannot make sense of this life, and we still don't care about it?  Or care to know about it? Or care to question what we should or shouldn't know about it?

Are we too stupid to live? To really live? To really choose? Are we?

Deleted

Sometimes it is necessary to be "deleted" from other peoples' lives.  There are some people, for each of us, who are not meant to be our friends, our lovers, or even our sometime acquaintances. 

I number most of my former girlfriends in this group. 

Catching Up

It does always seem that we find ourselves behind --- behind in work, behind in understanding what's going on with our friends, behind in our duties to family, friends, and job, just "behind." Why do we fall behind?  Too many duties; too high an expectation of ourselves; too few hours to correct mistakes?
 
All those reasons and a lot more. We wait until the last possible moment; we procrastinate well beyond the level of recovery; we allow ourselves to go "slack" when we need to be taut! We wait; and wait; and wait some more. Sometimes to a ridiculous degree. Are we "bad people" because of this? Sometimes yes. Most often no -- but only because most people are this way -- most people spend their lives "catching up" but never, ever quite getting there. 

Day to Night

Time passes by incredibly quickly -- almost too quickly to comprehend, certainly too quickly to enjoy.  I have done lots of "what if"s" about my life -- what if I had gotten sick instead of Sheila? What if I had taken one of those professional jobs that would have pulled me into a different career:  Hong Kong Arts Academy for example? Or one of the several professional acting pathways I might have chosen? Or this girlfriend over that one --- Jane over Kathy, Ruthie over Jane, Kathy over Sheila? Or what of all the opportunities to be unfaithful: Susan, Tina, Kate, Kathryn, etc. etc. etc. 

The many roads not taken have been the elements of who I am now!  And so it is. 

Bertina and Education

Bertina Carey, one of the women I love; has updated her Linkedin Profile to include an educational element (Bellevue University -- a mostly online school in Omaha, NE). I think that is terrific!  I know she attended NOVA for awhile, and Fordham in NYC for awhile. Now she is gaining more education, perhaps for her job advancement at Verizon; I say "that is terrific -- and a testament to her intelligence, persistence, and even her love of learning."

Congratulations, Tina Carey!