On the cusp of spring -- I can only think about the question of "how soon will this awful protracted winter end?" It seems as if this winter has become interminable -- storm after named storm -- highway tragedy after highway tragedy -- avalanche, snow, wind, cold, thaw, rain, mudslides, floods, etc. It has gone on for a long time!
There is also a "winter of our discontent" in our minds as well. This attitude pervades the spirit and closes off the creative mind -- it makes a mockery of joy, and kindness, and change. It weighs on us all like a blanket of cold quiet inertia. Where is the joy of the sun? Where is the smile of blue sky, punctuated by a warming wind?
Life? When will it come back?
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Savannah and St. Patrick's Day
Savannah hosts a very large St. Patrick's Day Parade annually -- today marks the 190th version (or so the hosts on WTOC - TV tell me). I am watching the parade "live" on a streaming feed over my compute screen at work, while I catch up on paperwork, grading, etc. Savannah's parade is both a joyful festival and a drunken 5-day "orgy" (perhaps without the sex)!
I left my house downtown early today (before 6:00AM) so I wouldn't be trapped by floats, onlookers, and noise just outside my door at the corner of East Hall and Liberty Streets. People were already stirring at that ungodly time -- for the love of beer, parades, and Irish tradition on St. Paddie's Day. This Festival is unique, not so much because of its size or impressiveness, but because of the tremendous effort put into it by the City/County/Region and the Irish community. You wouldn't think that Savannah, GA would be a haven for Irish culture -- on any level -- and you'd be mostly right; yet local Irishmen cling to their traditions and beliefs like drunken sailors clinging to a lifeboat.
By ethnicity I am Polish (or more probably Russian) -- and third generation "_____-American"! As such I lay no claim to this particular drunken event -- other than that it is a long-lived tourist tradition; and a considerable source of cash and commerce for local businesses. Long may they perpetuate the hype!
I left my house downtown early today (before 6:00AM) so I wouldn't be trapped by floats, onlookers, and noise just outside my door at the corner of East Hall and Liberty Streets. People were already stirring at that ungodly time -- for the love of beer, parades, and Irish tradition on St. Paddie's Day. This Festival is unique, not so much because of its size or impressiveness, but because of the tremendous effort put into it by the City/County/Region and the Irish community. You wouldn't think that Savannah, GA would be a haven for Irish culture -- on any level -- and you'd be mostly right; yet local Irishmen cling to their traditions and beliefs like drunken sailors clinging to a lifeboat.
By ethnicity I am Polish (or more probably Russian) -- and third generation "_____-American"! As such I lay no claim to this particular drunken event -- other than that it is a long-lived tourist tradition; and a considerable source of cash and commerce for local businesses. Long may they perpetuate the hype!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Heaven Again
To those of you who have an absolutely clear understanding of your "heaven;" your repository after your human life on earth --- congratulations! You are gifted people -- gifted with a faith so palpable it never admits doubt, and/or of a self-delusion so deep it never admits that it is a lie.
I do have doubts about a "heaven." Why? There is no promise of it in the great books of world religion -- but only descriptions of "states of being" almost certainly put in those books to pacify and reassure the faithful of whatever faith. Why is reassurance necessary -- because for most of us the thought of an "ending of our life" without some kind of "continuing" is a ferocious and debilitating thought.
But I think that I have become one of those people who knows I cannot control either the outcome of my life -- or whatever might follow. So, to paraphrase a Renaissance philosopher: I think, therefore what I will be, I will be! In this case that statement is not a tautology -- but our fondest dream.
I do have doubts about a "heaven." Why? There is no promise of it in the great books of world religion -- but only descriptions of "states of being" almost certainly put in those books to pacify and reassure the faithful of whatever faith. Why is reassurance necessary -- because for most of us the thought of an "ending of our life" without some kind of "continuing" is a ferocious and debilitating thought.
But I think that I have become one of those people who knows I cannot control either the outcome of my life -- or whatever might follow. So, to paraphrase a Renaissance philosopher: I think, therefore what I will be, I will be! In this case that statement is not a tautology -- but our fondest dream.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Forgiveness
For all the horrors I may have caused various people -- throughout my life -- I can only ask forgiveness. Just as I ask for forgiveness I must learn to give it. I have had bosses (David, no Dennis, Johnson), friends (John Love, all of the IAA kids, etc.), and lovers (you know who you are) to whom I owe forgiveness.
I own up to all my failings -- what else can I do? The reason to forgive is as important as the reason why we all need to be forgiven -- peace, calm. balance, life.
I own up to all my failings -- what else can I do? The reason to forgive is as important as the reason why we all need to be forgiven -- peace, calm. balance, life.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
On Hell
Jean-Paul Sartre said it: "Hell is other people!" That statement is elemental to Sartrian Existentialism -- and yet it also comfortably describes the ordinary elements that disrupt and complicate our lives. Namely, other people...
"Other people" complicate our lives by being different than we are: they think differently, they act differently, they are -- in essence and existence (ironically) -- different. Learning to somehow co-exist with others is one of the proof marks of maturity. Nonetheless, people of any age can be immature (and unknowing). They can be difficult (and demanding about it) and they can be impossible (what do you know, anyway?).
For me -- my Gemini Mother-in-Law and my Gemini former lover -- both were unfathomable to be small mind.
"Other people" complicate our lives by being different than we are: they think differently, they act differently, they are -- in essence and existence (ironically) -- different. Learning to somehow co-exist with others is one of the proof marks of maturity. Nonetheless, people of any age can be immature (and unknowing). They can be difficult (and demanding about it) and they can be impossible (what do you know, anyway?).
For me -- my Gemini Mother-in-Law and my Gemini former lover -- both were unfathomable to be small mind.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
On Heaven
My metaphysical theory on the outcome of human life on earth goes something like this: I believe in the heaven you believe in for yourself -- that will happen for you; but for me -- I don't know if I believe in any life after death. Why? My faith includes things within time -- but not the myths of my religious youth. I would like to say I am still a believing Catholic -- but I am pretty sure that I am not; the Church as an institution has gone the way of most "institutions" -- it has become corrupt.
So Sheila I believe has found her heaven -- and while I would love to share it with her; I don't know that I can every be good enough to earn it, or even to be gifted with it.
Millie has also passed away -- and her heaven will be of little children, joy and peace.
E.T.'s heaven will not have little children -- only good conversation, mutual giving, and lots of quiet peace. For all of them -- and me too -- I wish for the best and the most fulfilling kind of heaven.
So Sheila I believe has found her heaven -- and while I would love to share it with her; I don't know that I can every be good enough to earn it, or even to be gifted with it.
Millie has also passed away -- and her heaven will be of little children, joy and peace.
E.T.'s heaven will not have little children -- only good conversation, mutual giving, and lots of quiet peace. For all of them -- and me too -- I wish for the best and the most fulfilling kind of heaven.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Passing of a Wouldbe Matriarch
On February 28th, 2014 Mrs. Millie Nassif passed away in Greensboro, NC. The fact that she was my mother-in-law, and for various reasons we were estranged, complicates this post. I would like to say nothing but nice things about her -- she was always generous to her daughter Sheila, and by extension, me; she offered advice and counsel even when she wasn't always listened to; she tried to be a Mother even when a son-in-law told her he didn't need one.
Millie was kind, appeared open to people, generous and loving with children, and the kind of person you could admire for her many good works. She was also the opposite of all those things with certain people -- and suffered with the kind of failings all humans face.
I knew her in the "good times" when she appeared to respect me and everyone with a smiling face -- and I knew her in other times when she did not. And I respect and honor her for both those human faces -- and for 93 plus years of earthly life. May she rest in eternal peace -- I think she has earned it.
Millie was kind, appeared open to people, generous and loving with children, and the kind of person you could admire for her many good works. She was also the opposite of all those things with certain people -- and suffered with the kind of failings all humans face.
I knew her in the "good times" when she appeared to respect me and everyone with a smiling face -- and I knew her in other times when she did not. And I respect and honor her for both those human faces -- and for 93 plus years of earthly life. May she rest in eternal peace -- I think she has earned it.
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