Desire is ...Crazy!

To really desire someone means that the "butterflies in the stomach" go nuts. You are thrust into an illusion of hope, of having, of wanting -- no matter what the obstacles.

Many people think that they can "desire" something other than sex. I think they're wrong. You can "want" a new car, a new home, or lots of money. But you can only truly "desire" another person. When that hope springs up within your chest (or wherever) it takes over the whole body, the way of thinking, the way of being.

Passion overcomes complacency. Most people will do anything to get that "desirable" other person. In the inflamed mind the "desire" takes over, becomes paramount, and displaces any other "wants." It consumes time and energy. It "eats" the stuff we live on -- our energy, our "chi."

Exam Days

For every process, there is a time of crisis. For every struggle, there is a moment of standoff. For every course, there is an exam. For every relationship, there is a time of reckoning.  For every every love affair, there is time of parting. For every day, there is a time to think.

In the Midst...

I like words. I like ideas. I like the confusion and humor of "double entendres." I enjoy people who can laugh at words, and people, and themselves.

Laughing at myself is the most serious thing I do. And I do it often. Sometimes in the "midst" of trying to cover my butt in some matter; I realize it truly doesn't matter. It truly doesn't.

And why are we all so "stressed' by how we look to the world, how the world views us, what others think of us? Why?

In the "midst" of all this simple thinking -- I am struck with thoughts of someone I love. Perhaps someone who is now gone, or someone I have put aside. It doesn't matter: gone is gone! But when that someone is gone, I miss their touch, their smile, their closeness, their interest in me and in us, their life in all its fullness.  

On a Life Well-Lived

Being young a person just naturally has high hopes. Things will go well. Dreams will be accomplished. Wants will be satisfied. And then time begins to weave its continuous web -- and everything changes. 

Problems and obstacles spring up like thorns. Goals are sometimes met, and rewards are earned. But often only more obstacles arise. And that is life. A series of small goals met, and larger goals still out there to be met. And a maelstrom of flying obstacles in between.

And in all that, if one chooses to live simply -- to live without causing pain, or spending too much time getting out of the way of it -- one feels the inadequacy of our position. We are free-willed enough to live as we choose; be we perhaps shall never achieve what we truly want. Is that the life I signed up for?

Friday the 13th

Triskaidekaphobia --or the fear of the number 13 -- afflicts many black-cat fanciers. It is often extended to the fear of the date -- Friday the 13th -- an application from at least medieval times. Well, I have a sibling who was born on that date so the family has had fun giving her many birthdays, every time that Friday the 13th shows up on the calendar as a matter of fact. 

Fears like this one abound in American society: old wives' tales, cultural traditions, colonial traditions, family quirks, all dating back well before anyone can actually remember when they began. I realized the other day that I like to "attack" and "confront" such traditions. The "black cat crossing one's path" being bad luck -- is a good example. I often look for that black cat, or wait until it crosses my path, to actually experience it visually -- and note any changes in luck, karma, future thinking, nervousness, etc. As a kid I was always like that -- "challenge the convention and find a new meaning" was always a kind of hidden perspective I had on all such situations and moments. 

Often times, right in the middle of an experience -- whether ecstatic or abysmal -- I find myself watching the moment and gauging the immediate impact on my life: living the moment and preserving it while I am living it. Don't know where this came from but I do know I always have had this capacity (or is it just a strange weakness?).

Viable Endings

When a semester ends in college -- it ends. When a relationship sputters, flares up, and then out -- is it truly over? That is the question. What remains of a relationship -- after death, let us say (I hope a lot)? What remains after a long time away? What remains if the people get busy and "go" elsewhere?

When a person dies -- what is left for them? Where do they go? How are they? Are they? All big questions that are answer-resistant until we achieve our own end.

On Saving the World...and Love

Nelson Mandela -- one of the great heroes of the human race, was memorialized today by world leaders in South Africa. Leaders from every kind of country attended -- and many types of people were allowed to speak at the Memorial. Symbolic of the strands of humanity that Mandela touched -- from every walk of life, from every economic stripe, from every family in the family of nations. 

Mandela was among the best of men.

He joins the ranks of Gandhi, King, and Tutu -- men who worked tirelessly for other men, for the good of all men.