The Beauty of Touch

I believe in "touch" as a loving link between people, and objects, and concepts, and all things.  My "ko shinto buddhism" establishes the "Shinto" belief that every object has an energy about it, a "ch'i," a feeling, a vibration --- call it what you will. And every one of us, if we are perceptive and open enough, can grasp and feel that "ch'i."

Life is both brutal and sweetly nuanced at the same time. Large energies engulf and consume us and small ones percolate and caress the corners of our vision. But always, always, if we aware and open to life -- we can experience and respond to it. 

I know the beauty of life's touch in many ways -- by knowing some extraordinary people; by tasting some extraordinary things; by experiencing some exquisite ideas; by understanding what is happening in, on, under, over, and around me.  I am not alone -- I am adrift in a see of "things" all touching me as I touch them. 

Quietude

Quietude is what happens when a Southern Technical College, in a state and region that never gets snow (or rarely), closes down for a day-and-a-half snow day. 

Thank the Gods. 

Quo Vadis?

The ancient question: "quo vadis?" seems an important enough place to begin. Where are we going? Do we really understand where we are going, and why? What is our purpose on this earth? Why are we alive? Why do we live; why do we question why or how we are to live? Why, why, why?

The elements that do happen: life, love, hate, death, reflection; all move us along a journey, which sometimes does not seem to have mile markers or end points or even spots to alter course or turn around.  We are free to go in whichever way we want, and to do whatever it is we want, without interference.  But then reality settles in and crushes everything:  plans, hopes, dreams, projections, and even failures!! All things are crushed and all changes are edited out.  We are out of control, or at least our control, for much of our own lives -- with no explanation given.  How can that be? How is it that we cannot make sense of this life, and we still don't care about it?  Or care to know about it? Or care to question what we should or shouldn't know about it?

Are we too stupid to live? To really live? To really choose? Are we?

Deleted

Sometimes it is necessary to be "deleted" from other peoples' lives.  There are some people, for each of us, who are not meant to be our friends, our lovers, or even our sometime acquaintances. 

I number most of my former girlfriends in this group. 

Catching Up

It does always seem that we find ourselves behind --- behind in work, behind in understanding what's going on with our friends, behind in our duties to family, friends, and job, just "behind." Why do we fall behind?  Too many duties; too high an expectation of ourselves; too few hours to correct mistakes?
 
All those reasons and a lot more. We wait until the last possible moment; we procrastinate well beyond the level of recovery; we allow ourselves to go "slack" when we need to be taut! We wait; and wait; and wait some more. Sometimes to a ridiculous degree. Are we "bad people" because of this? Sometimes yes. Most often no -- but only because most people are this way -- most people spend their lives "catching up" but never, ever quite getting there. 

Day to Night

Time passes by incredibly quickly -- almost too quickly to comprehend, certainly too quickly to enjoy.  I have done lots of "what if"s" about my life -- what if I had gotten sick instead of Sheila? What if I had taken one of those professional jobs that would have pulled me into a different career:  Hong Kong Arts Academy for example? Or one of the several professional acting pathways I might have chosen? Or this girlfriend over that one --- Jane over Kathy, Ruthie over Jane, Kathy over Sheila? Or what of all the opportunities to be unfaithful: Susan, Tina, Kate, Kathryn, etc. etc. etc. 

The many roads not taken have been the elements of who I am now!  And so it is. 

Bertina and Education

Bertina Carey, one of the women I love; has updated her Linkedin Profile to include an educational element (Bellevue University -- a mostly online school in Omaha, NE). I think that is terrific!  I know she attended NOVA for awhile, and Fordham in NYC for awhile. Now she is gaining more education, perhaps for her job advancement at Verizon; I say "that is terrific -- and a testament to her intelligence, persistence, and even her love of learning."

Congratulations, Tina Carey!

Missing Women

This is not going to be a post about women who are missing, but rather a post about the fact that without a steady presence of women in a person's life -- a person tends to regret that they are not there. Not brain science for most people, but for me, a breakthrough. I have always had the strong presence of women in my life -- and it has always been positive, even when a "relationship" or a "friendship" went on the rocks.

The female sensibility provides a counterbalance to the male view of the world -- which tends to be smaller, harder, and less open to the beauty of life.  Females provide a thorough debunking of the rules males pretend to live by. Females in a person's life just change everything:  schedule, priorities, finances, everything.  Thank God. 

On Dating ...After a Certain Age

The body is not the same -- the exercise regimen to gain that "six pack" is no longer there. Even the day-to-day habits admit of little possibility for growth, or, horror of horrors, change. And yet the desire for human companionship and love continues without stopping --- well past 50, or 60, or beyond. Why is that?

Why are we wired this way? Is there never an abatement of the demands put on our psyche? Are we always going to want to risk the embarrassment of rejection? And for what? A kiss in the dark, a friendly hand caressing us; a warm hug to reassure us?
Is it worth it?

Calm Cold "Cool" of Winter

Savannah, Georgia doesn't really have a winter season -- in any traditional sense.  Instead the weather mostly meanders from "too warm" to "too cold" off a baseline of about 60/40 (day-night temperatures).  Right now we are in the "every day the same" mold of mid-winter, providing an occasional rainy day, amidst lots of toy-soldier-like baseline days.

But the baseline days are not so base.  They are mostly comfortable (if the wind isn't too high) and provide the ability, if not the incentive, to finish off the Fall outside work, and make the yard look great for Spring. 

As we move towards Ground Hog's Day I am reminded that "six more weeks of winter" doesn't mean much when you live in Savannah, Georgia!!

Rainday Morning

It is raining today in Savannah, GA.  That means traffic will be slowed precipitously, students will be wet and late for class, and all things moving or stopping will be slowed and out of focus.

Rain does to the South what Ice and Snow do to the North.  It changes all plans and calmly advises everyone to stay in bed, or at least to stay at home.  I am amazed at the South -- from Charlotte to Savannah, from St. Augustine to Dallas -- the South deals with weather in an awkward and even backwards way. 

Writing and Thinking without Venom

A word can be a horrible weapon -- calling someone a name, or accusing them of being unethical, or insinuating ulterior motives to someone -- all these put words out there as brutal and hurtful weapons. I would like to say that I have never spoken or written ill of anyone else --- but even in this simple blog that assertion is problematic.

Why? Because people have alternate views of the truth; because people disagree on what is real or not; because people view events differently.  From my point of view I can only try to be "venom-free"  but I cannot guarantee it. 

How to "Use" This Blog

I realize now, just this moment, that I use this blog as an everyday writing source to reflect all the many things that go on in my life.  I leave out the truly intimate elements especially if they are very immediate, though I sometimes reflect back on them when sufficient time has passed. (Old loves "die hard" as the saying goes).

I also respond in this blog to world events, local events, and other happenings that are or will impact me, my family, my students, or my friends. In doing so I never claim to be correct either in my opinions or in my reflections of the "facts" of a particular case.
I'm not being coy here, nor am I issuing some kind of disclaimer, but I do say that this blog will not always be totally correct. (But it is as accurate as I can, at the time, make it). I don't go back in time and correct my mistakes in depicting past events -- so errors do stay on the record, particularly if they are read by and stand uncorrected by, other participants.

So there it is. How to use this blog? With care, with trepidation, with an eye and an ear for errors, with some misgivings. It's the best that I can offer, at the moment. 

1st Week of School

Today, Thursday, is the last day of the first week of classes for the Spring, 2014 Semester at Savannah Technical College.  And that is all I'm sure of... 

The first day was a blur of confusion and mistakes on paperwork, and collapsing classes due to conflicts, etc. This has become typical for this, my homeplace, school.
Why, I am not sure.  Too many decisions made in haste without clear forethought?
Or simply a lack of overall planning?

Yes.

A New High; a New Low

Amid some of the lowest temperatures in the past 20 years, Savannah is cold, cold, cold. Amid the turmoil of political obfuscation and intransigence, the climate for change in America is stalled, stalled, stalled.

It's not true that all "truth" or governmental success lies in any one ideology; but it is true that ideology alone does not create any kind of success outside of action. The factions of politics in America must work together, or else nothing works. The people need to do more than absentmindedly nod their collective heads to whatever idiotic explanations are given for inactivity -- we must demand more, much more. We must demand that the responsibilities that the government has, are continued. We must require our elected officials to live up to their and our responsibilities to each other. 

Our government is not a "capitalistic" state, no more than it is a "Biblically-inspired" state. It is a government "off the people, by the people, and for the people"--no more, no less. Acknowledge that everyone -- and then let's move on. 

A Feeling of Uneasiness

The weather is awful --- changing to "colder than cold can be" almost as I sit and watch my darkening office window. The cold is coming as part of an arctic front that is to be the most threatening in 20 years --- giving everyone a sense of fear and foreboding, strange to say. I have felt this same sense of foreboding nearly the whole weekend -- as my favorite sports teams lost (as I anticipated they might), and everything just seems to be drifting...down. 

Please let this malaise dissipate!

Begin the Beguine

From a Cole Porter song, to a life-affirming ideal.  Beginning a dance that starts anew each semester; learning the weird changing vibes that signal a new exotica; understanding the range of minds that create a new world. 

I am happy to be back teaching again and consulting as well.  I am making enough money to pay my bills easily (yay) and still provide extra cash for gifts and kindnesses.
It is all good. 

For many others it is not so good and so I struggle to keep my life together (and my ongoing processes) -- why?  Because there is no alternative!